I am not made for this you cried
as children fell from your milky thighs

Let the things perish and I will fly unknown unsown
my bones may crack and snap
the worms can have my eyes but
I am not made for this you cried

In truth
the slate and mist have greyed you
the bracken burn of summer decayed you

In truth
you tread through thorns
a warm whiskey shawl
your lantern and map




It once was your way, mind you, yes.
This here, or there.
Things stayed.
No room for the flap or mess of us.
But you loved.

Loved the wrap of cats around your ankles,
the saplings you earthed,
the river the fields the plump summer berries
the stuff of other life, of other birth.

We grab your soft bosom under your nightgown
all lemon soap, scented orange plugged with cloves.

Your eiderdown of lovely lies.
The sweets we stole on Christmas Eve.
We believed.





In the cool of that room you're still,
as pale as frost and colder.
There are no soft webs to catch
the tiny blades of ice that shoot from me.

Beside your mouth there's no whisper
no foggy breath
no updown inout from your chest.

It's the quiet that might be peace but
I don't know that yet.

I wait for your eyes to open.
I could wait forever because
this is forever, this is the only forever.





Turn away from the green
the day is fading.
Our small feet stumble.

Ha. The chaffinch and the wagtail keep
bobbing for a penny.
Waterflies dip the wet fracture.

The heron swings.
Mud gathers in grooves
in the leaves in your eyes.

On earth as it is

This day is done.
Turn away from the green.









It was just so
suddenly the air was soft mown grass
although the tower blocks the shouting and the dogs
held the evening ugly.

A smile pulled my face and then
I stepped into an afternoon and we were there
beside the hawthorn and warm cow parsley.

I saw you leap the gate. I saw you
leave your shoes and run through thistles in the cowpat field
the sun and you and birdsong in me.

These are not my feet walking
this is not my mouth speaking
this is not my shadow, my shiver.
I am in the fields with you, by the river.