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The Self-Surgery Web Page

by  Ian Smith 100

Posted: Thursday, July 14, 2005
Word Count: 1000
Summary: The Self-Surgery web site is run by a collaboration of people who have operated on themselves successfully. Their valuable experience is contained within these pages in easy to follow, non-medical, jargon free terms.




One day, most of us will need an operation. It’s a fact of life. Maybe you need one already. If you do, that means you’ve been diagnosed, and the medical world has decided that surgery is the next step. The remedy is close, but you have to wait, and wait, and wait.

Frustrating isn’t it? But the good news is, you needn’t waste time going through the arduous, and sometimes upsetting, medical treadmill of appointments, long waits, and uncertainty. It can leave you feeling more ill than when you started.

The reality is, almost all operations can be carried out yourself, with only the basic equipment, in the comfort of your own home. That’s what The Self-Surgery web site is all about. It’s a collaboration of people who have operated on themselves successfully. Their valuable experience is contained within these pages in easy to follow, non-medical, jargon free terms. Many thousands of people have already taken advantage of this website, and decided to take their lives into their own hands, quite literally. Contented, happy people just like you, carry out their own operations every day of the year, successfully, in the comfort of their own homes, sometimes with friends and relatives present.

Mr. H. of Morecambe said: “Once the jargon was stripped away and I understood what vasectomy actually meant, I was able to study the principles and take the necessary steps myself. I now feel empowered.”

Mrs. T. of Solihull: “I never thought I could work out gall bladders, but now I am more fulfilled.”

Mr. B. of Cheddar Gorge: “I took immeasurable satisfaction from repairing my own hernia.”

Mrs. C. of Oswestry: “I haven’t stopped talking about my colonostemy.”

Click here to purchase our toolkit. For most self-surgery, you only need a minimum of a cheap box cutter, a bottle of proprietary disinfectant, and a lit candle. Don’t let the rudimentary nature of this basic equipment discourage you. Many a good tune can be played on an old fiddle, and any tool is only as good as the person using it.

Here’s a sample of conditions you can treat yourself:

Glue ear. No grommet insertion is ever necessary. Just apply a weak solution of vinegar and water using a dropper. It’s safe, it’s reliable, and it’s worked for centuries. It might not be real self-surgery, but the first steps in taking control of your own destiny will give you confidence to resolve other conditions the non-invasive way. Your glue ear will clear up quickly, and you’ll have crystal clear hearing once again, so listen up.

Ingrown toenail. Here’s where the box cutter comes in, and a chance to try your hand with the blade. Wipe your toe with disinfectant, hold the blade in the candle flame, let it cool, and you’re ready. Basically, you need to remove that surrounding hard skin that’s made life so difficult, and dig out that ingrowing toenail. Just locate the surrounding hard skin, and slice away. You’ll soon be ready to walk on your own two feet again.

Cataracts. Sometimes the invasive way is the only way. Locate that unwanted tissue using a mirror, a bright light, and then slice away. You’ll soon enjoy clear vision once again, but do take a little time to practice shucking oysters, or if you can’t get a supply of oysters, removing the grey membrane off a monkfish is the best practice we know.

Circumcision. The rim of a sink is the ideal place for carrying out this simple procedure. Check our links for important precautions before starting.

Tonsillectomy. Don’t be afraid to let junior practice with the blade. Imagine how proud you’ll be when your little ones can heal themselves, and then speak up about their self-surgery.

Prostrate Tumors. Eyes in the back of your head? Of course not. Use a mirror, and don’t be afraid to invade areas you thought were out of bounds. You might need a little practice to get into position, but you’ll soon have that bad guy in the palm of your hand.

And that’s just a tiny sample of self-surgery successes. You might ask, ‘If it’s that easy to operate on myself, why do medical professionals need intensive training?’ Well, that’s because, like any job, they’re working over a long period of time, carrying out operations on many thousands of people, and that means they must have good, safe practices instilled. Look at it this way, to drive your car safely, every day of the year, over long distances, requires great tuition at the outset, but with only an introduction to the basic skills, even junior can safely take a car onto the highway, at least once. Think it through. The average person will only need one operation in their entire lives, so why not take control and carry out that operation yourself? Just a small amount of basic training is necessary, so you can take the necessary steps towards safe DIY self-surgery. After all, most operations are no more complex than removing hard skin from the ball of your foot with a pumice.

So, we’ve given you a taste for one of life’s great adventures enjoyed by many generations right back to that first self-surgeon, stone age man. Why not click here to enter the site and discover what the medical world would rather you didn’t know about yourself. It’s not exactly big news. The world is round, and routine, DIY surgery is only a click away. Please have your credit card ready.

Remember, self-surgery is not covered by most of the major medical insurers. Check your policy before proceeding. Just click here for hygiene details, and then you’re ready to go. Enter the site below, scroll down, find your condition, and then roll up your sleeves.

Disclaimer: This page is not intended to replace professional medical advice from trained personnel. The administrators of www.diyselfops.com cannot be held responsible for the outcome of any self-surgery performed using the advice given in this web site. That’s the legal stuff over.