Insight - Version II
by joanie
Posted: Saturday, July 2, 2005 Word Count: 169 Summary: My attempt at a tritina, which we have just started to look at in Poetry Seminar. |
Version II
Gasping as your form comes into sight,
I hold the smile until I leave the room
then break, a burnt-out matchstick, black and spent,
my head remembering all the hours I spent
in trying to beguile you. “Out of sight
and out of mind”, my mother said. No room
for sentiment. I tried to give you room
to contemplate what happy times we spent
together, but they faded from your sight.
My eyesight falters, give me room, I’m spent.
Version I
Slipping delicately out of sight,
I hold the smile until I leave the room
then crumple as a tissue, damp and spent,
my thoughts regurgitating all the hours I spent
in trying to console you. “Out of sight
and out of mind”, my mother said. No room
for sentiment, emotions; “Give him room
to hang himself. Just let him think of all time he spent
fulfilling his own dreams while you were not in sight.”
As I catch sight of you, the room revolves, composure spent.
Gasping as your form comes into sight,
I hold the smile until I leave the room
then break, a burnt-out matchstick, black and spent,
my head remembering all the hours I spent
in trying to beguile you. “Out of sight
and out of mind”, my mother said. No room
for sentiment. I tried to give you room
to contemplate what happy times we spent
together, but they faded from your sight.
My eyesight falters, give me room, I’m spent.
Version I
Slipping delicately out of sight,
I hold the smile until I leave the room
then crumple as a tissue, damp and spent,
my thoughts regurgitating all the hours I spent
in trying to console you. “Out of sight
and out of mind”, my mother said. No room
for sentiment, emotions; “Give him room
to hang himself. Just let him think of all time he spent
fulfilling his own dreams while you were not in sight.”
As I catch sight of you, the room revolves, composure spent.