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The Watchtower

by Brian Aird 

Posted: 18 October 2007
Word Count: 70


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so many are certain
of their inalienable right
each with their own god
blinded by their light

but the passionate disbeliever
certain that uncertainty is best
has the only true religion
and despises all the rest

never climb the watchtower
to see if war is due
its already here
between me and you

we alone know
heaven and hell
are here on earth -
go, and all the world tell






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Comments by other Members



V`yonne at 12:12 on 18 October 2007  Report this post
Brian, that's a bit brilliant, that. I particularly liked that second stanza. The gospel according to James Randy etc? Or attend a nice humanist christening?

I so agree. :)

rmol1950 at 18:19 on 18 October 2007  Report this post
Brian
This realy strikes a chord with me and I find the first and second stanzas strong and vivid and flow easily when read aloud. Not so sure about the third and fourth. Still vivid but somehow for me the rythm is lost. Whatever. Thats just me. I liked it very much.
Best wishes
Richard

Account Closed at 09:48 on 19 October 2007  Report this post
Punchy and powerful indeed. I did have a fiddle (oo-err!) here and there - what about:

so many are certain
of their inalienable right
each with their own god
blinded by their light

but the passionate disbeliever
certain that uncertainty is best
has the only true religion
and despises all the rest

never climb the watchtower
to see if war is due
it's already here
between me and you

we alone know
heaven and hell
are here on earth -
go, and all the world tell


Very thought-provoking.

A
xxx


Brian Aird at 11:57 on 19 October 2007  Report this post
Thanks Anne, Richard and Oonah.

Your comments are most welcome. Reading it again, perhaps 'darkest' light is too strong. After all, religion just gets high jacked by political purposes.

As to the meter used, should I try and make verses more even? I guess "inalienable" might be replaced by "sacred" or "spiritual".

Anyway it was all inspired by a knock at the door from some Jehovah Witnesses clutching their watchtowers...

Perhaps "no thanks, I'm an atheist today" might have been a better start.

Brian

P.S. Who the hell is James Randy?


V`yonne at 14:17 on 19 October 2007  Report this post
Brian, James Randi( I spelt him wrong) is a skeptic and debunker of myths. He promotes the use of the brain in the fight against nonsense and ignorance. Find him on YouTube. It's interesting.

Brian Aird at 17:48 on 19 October 2007  Report this post
I did find JR interesting. The thing is, it isn't easy to change people's beliefs with reason and argument or even humour; only by offering a life changing experience of some kind. So Popoff had the right idea...

BTW, my money's on the Pink Unicorn.

Brian

Q. Can Poetry change lives?

V`yonne at 18:09 on 19 October 2007  Report this post
I think so. Poetry can sneak past people's defences. But can you get them to read it in the first place?

Brian Aird at 19:17 on 19 October 2007  Report this post
Poems on the Underground? - OK for Londoners...

Brian

Look out for Popoff's new launch "Faith Healing by poetry. Ughh.

V`yonne at 20:04 on 19 October 2007  Report this post
In London yes. Of course we could all do a Leonard Cohen! I have a better voice than Leonard too and I hear you have a fine baritone yourself. :)

Brian Aird at 20:21 on 19 October 2007  Report this post
I listen as I write to Hallelujah; now before I back out, I was always going to re-write Parry's Jerusalem. I've had to sing that soooo often.

Good tune, though.

Brian


V`yonne at 00:22 on 20 October 2007  Report this post
There are a lot of Cohen fans on site, not surprisingly.

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin...

How can anyone resist?

foundit at 08:16 on 21 October 2007  Report this post
Hi Brian,

Very powerful and very relevant in todays world.

I enjoyed the way it unfolded.

Joe

Beanie Baby at 21:44 on 06 November 2007  Report this post
Hello Brian. I like this very much. I do feel that 'between you and me' is more fitting than 'twixt you and me' because 'twixt' does flow less than 'between' hich leads neatly from one word to the next. Having said that, I can see it has been written with heart and great care and there is certanly an element of 'self' there.
Beanie

Brian Aird at 09:24 on 07 November 2007  Report this post
Thanks Beanie. Twixt is gone.

Brian

nickyflower at 16:38 on 17 July 2008  Report this post
Really snappy nutshell of a poem. Enjoyed, Brain.

Nicky.


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